Fie Lar'va's Journal

Entry #1

Over the past few days a lot has happened to me. I need to vent the information but I don’t want to confide in any one person; it’s not something I’m used to.

First off, The Crimson Shield has broken. My mission to go back to get Una was, I suppose, a success. We got Una back from the Elves. She fought for her freedom and won; which is just like her. Upon meeting back up with her, a rift appeared within the group. The result: Gavin, Marcus and Aralove on the side that wanted to continue on to finish the mission of blowing up the prototype Titan, and Una, Jadzia and myself on the other side, not totally agreeing on the next action, but not wanting to continue straight away. While I wanted to finish the mission of finishing up the Titan, I didn’t agree on the plan and that apparently meant that I was against it?

Charging into the elven home would have been suicide to all involved. The amount of arrows that flew towards Gavin, Marcus and Jadzia when they made a break for it was unbelievable. I don’t know how any of us made it out of there alive, and if we were to just march in there less than 24 hours afterwards they would have shot us down with wave upon wave as we entered. I am not prepared to die again; the first time was bad enough but that was also not something that we could have predicted.

Secondly, Gavin: His death was a shock to us all. We all saw him run to the Titan with the explosives in his hand, but none of us could imagine that he would stay there after it was planted. Thinking back upon it, I can now see how much stress Gavin was under. Commander Grace had placed the blame solely on Gavin. While people must understand that their actions have consequences, the amount of stress was sure to cloud Gavin’s judgment. In addition, there was the added weight of being in charge of 500 men for, what I can only presume, is his first time being in command of more than just us, given his age. If Gavin had not have been so stressed, I know that he would have been able to have worked out a better plan. Being given such a large and untrained force was definitely a hindrance. Gavin knows the group and would have been able to have worked out how to utilise all of us well to complete the mission. I was half considering taking the bomb off of him and sneaking in myself. The titan wasn’t that far from the tree line and I’m sure that I could have made myself to look like a White raven for long enough to do what I needed to.

When Una returned to the party, she told us that she had found out that she was half-elven. My first urge was to stab her with my sword, but before I could do anything, my mind was racing through all the times we had been on missions together, her reaction to my heritage when we revealed it to the group and the bond we have forged. I found myself unable to do anything and when I was finally able to say something, I couldn’t see anyone else. I knew that the rest of the party was there, and the 500 men behind, but I couldn’t see them. They didn’t exist in that moment. I think I may have spoken to her in Elven when I spoke; the words just fell out of my mouth.

I do not know what will happen to the Crimson Shield now with only two members, one of them only being with the group for a few hours. I suspect the program will be disbanded as a failure or they will give a new group the name. Of the current people there, Marcus and Aralove, I hope neither of them comes to find us. I have only just realised that Marcus’ heart is as cold as the metal on a warforged in winter. His lack of compassion for underlings boarders on cruel and his manipulation of his closest acquaintances could get him a seat next to Carter, if that was his will. He claims to be a pacifist, but that is only because he gets others to get blood on their hands for him.

I have not had much interaction with the new member, Aralove, but from what I have seen she is very stiff and follows commands like a warforged. I do not know if this is a common trait amongst Teiflings, as I have not seen or researched any but if it is not, I wonder where her line is. I have crossed many lines for the Overwatch and I probably would have crossed more had I not have left with the knowledge I now have.

Now that we have split from the Overwatch and the Crimson Shield, we appeared to have found temporary safety with the White Ravens and… the elves. While the elves do not appear to be the same as the ones in my memory, and they are different to the descriptions in the books in the Overwatch library, I do not trust them. They seem to only be concerned with defending themselves. Maybe their queen has tamed them?

Anyway, as a trust exercise, Una, Jadzia, Bri, Liara, and I went out to hunt a dragon! Una and Liara seemed pretty pumped about it. Bri on the other had was “not as excited”… Amazingly Jadzia got the finishing blow! She has really come out since we got Una back. She spoke out to Gavin and killed the dragon. I suspect not having the Overwatch, and her father, looking over everything she does will help her to grow. If I ever see her father again, I hope she will not begrudge me for putting my blade to his throat. Liara was extremely efficient during the fight. If it wasn’t for her and Bri, I don’t think we would have survived. Liara and myself had a talk to take the edge off of things on the way to the dragon. I feel that there is a lot to learn from her. My brother spoke highly of her until she left, with respect toward her battle prowess. Truths about Overwatch and better fighting techniques were the core information of our discussion.

It looks like we will be working with the White Ravens for the current time; I hope that with this stability my nights will be calmer now.


P.S. I think I have said too much in this, and written words hold more weight than spoken. I will have to burn this entry…