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Jadzia Grace Journal 3
I’m not sure if this letter will find you, but I hope it will… I woke up in terror again last night. I don’t know what happened, but I do know they are getting worse. Vallus woke me up. I was on top of him, hitting him with balled-up fists in the chest.
Thankfully, I’m not very strong, and Vallus is. I woke up with him holding my wrists and calling out my name. He promises me I didn’t actually hurt him- he compared my punches to insect bites. Not exactly charming, but it did help wash away some of the guilt. I know sometimes I lash about, wake screaming, but I’ve never attacked anyone in my sleep before.
I don’t know why it’s suddenly become violent. Maybe it’s because you aren’t here and that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Vallus tells me I used to just whimper and kick when I had a nightmare and he’d wake me up. I think that being in that house was getting to me, maybe getting away will help. If not that, it may be the books I am reading that have summoned these nightmares. Every moment I am awake I am reading tales and accounts of monstrous creatures from another realm. Each account calls it something else, but I know these creatures are from hell.
Sheldon is what I called the being I summoned. I think the ordinary name takes some of it’s power away from it. You taught me that. When you laugh in the face of an enemy, you take their power away. I’ve watched entire armies crumble beneath that laugh.
Now that you've gone, the aggression between Vallus and Calluna has mounted. I think for now I’ve thrown some water on the situation, but I’m not entirely sure the fire is out. . . . You don’t even want to know what a poor choice of words that is. Merrek, Fie and I are constantly trying to keep the peace. I’m not sure I’m the best at it, when you get back you’ll have to wrangle them up. They’ll quiet down within minutes.
I love Vallus, but sometimes his anger can be frightening. It’s never directed at me, but seeing it directed towards a Calluna was unsettling. She did throw the first punch, which everyone conveniently forgot the moment it came time to place the blame.
Even Fie lashed out against Vallus before the wilden, which is disconcerting. I understand his side. I’m not saying Vallus was in the right, but… everyone seems ready to cast him in a dark light, and I can tell it bothers him, even if he won’t admit that to me. I’m sure he’s become used to it- given his brother. However, knowing that a friend was so quick to demonize the man I love leaves me with a pit in my stomach. You and Fie are like kin to me. I want to be able to trust him like I trust you.
Everything about this past week has made me feel rather helpless- you being gone most of all. I wish you hadn't, though I understand your nature well enough to know I couldn’t have stopped you. I have faith you will return soon, you always amaze me.
I’m going to stop before we leave town tomorrow and send this letter to you. We never officially said where to meet. We’ll wait for you in Brightport. Vallus says we will find a home in “House Dragonkeep”, formerly House Darkspane. Meet us there as soon as you can. We’ll be waiting.
PS: Have you ever met the parents of a significant other? I find myself a little nervous and I don’t know what I should do.
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