Marrek Aethelred's Journal

Entry #1


It’s all new to Calluna—she doesn’t know how people can be, though, and what can happen when you disappoint them. And then here I am, not even able to remember the last time I looked someone in the eye and give more than a grunt. But fine. I suppose Calluna was right—friends might not be so bad after all.

UPDATE: I’m speechless. This group we’ve found has given us their warmth so quickly, and that’s both humbling and encouraging at the same time. The more they show they’re willing to trust me only makes it easier to trust myself. I can’t remember the last time I felt that.

UPDATE #2: First night in this room and I’m still wide awake. Having a hard time getting sleep with a roof over my head, much less in a mansion like this. How does Calluna do it? She’s actually snoring. I didn’t know plants could snore. Anyway, I can’t shut my brain off. I just keep thinking over and over that they’re… nice people. All of them. Complicated, too. I suppose complicated is comfortable for me.


Finally fell asleep for a bit. Progress. Just woke up to some sort of commotion downstairs—a knock on the door, some yelling, a couple of crashes. Not sure if it’s my place to get involved but…. fine let me put my cloak on and see what’s up.

UPDATE: Okay, back. They were just strangling a half-orc for a blood ritual or something and somehow he broke a coffee table in the process, no big deal. Back to sleep for a bit.

UPDATE #2: Returned from out on the town to find more corpses had been uncovered in the house, this time in some sort of dungeon. I’m confused, though: as gruesome as it sounds, some of the bodies I helped take to the garden seemed a bit… fresh. No more than a couple of days old, I’d wager. Probably overthinking it—I’m sure it’s nothing.


Woke up super early this morning. Couldn’t sleep at all this time, even on the floor. Haven’t dared to try the bed yet. I’m so grateful to our new friends for taking us in so readily, but I’ll be honest: I don’t know how to thank them. I suppose I don’t remember how people… interact. Feeling a little itchy. All I need is one bad nightmare and wake up a little too stressed…. I really don’t want to think about it.

Guess I’ll trust my gut and make everyone breakfast before they’re up, calm myself down. The paladin warned me about finding some odd stuff in this place, but I’ll make due. I should probably avoid anything that looks like it might have been meat. Fine with me. Hope everyone likes veggie omelets.

UPDATE: Okay so now the half-orc is the warforged, or vice-versa.

UPDATE #2: The day is not even close to over and I just met a bunch of paladins at the Temple of Kord and yes I was pretty fucking impressed. Kord’s not exactly my scene, sure, but boy do they ever have a connection with their deity. I’m fascinated.


Yesterday we talked to Mayor Keller, and it really looks like we’re going to help clean up Esterholt with the help of the Kordian. Finally something to sink my teeth into. Seems like the others want to start off today with this Marcus person, first and foremost. It feels like their thing, not mine. It’s not our place to get involved, just yet, but I’ll definitely be there to help if they need it. Cleaning up Esterholt’s going to be a tall order, so I’ll focus on preparing for that. But that task, with these friends, might just be my best way to regain the light and hope of Amaunator I’m desperate to find—I believe that with all of my faith.

UPDATE: They took care of Marcus in their own way. Closure. I could have said a few words for the body, but I don’t know the whole story—not my place.

UPDATE #2: Heading into town with Callie later to pick up supplies and maybe stop at a tavern to give her some ‘human’ lessons. She keeps asking what a “husband” is and I keep brushing it off because… blargh. As if I’d be the best person to explain something like that. But I’m sure it’s confusing for her. Jadzia’s husband was evidently an awful crazy person, and that’s not how husbands are meant to be. I’ve only caught snippets here and there, but I can only imagine that, deep down, Jadzia would still be traumatized to live in this house. At least Vallus protects her.


Not much happening. Glad for some time to acclimate. Been cleaning out more of the house, stocking the kitchen with actual kitchen things instead of the odd mummified body part or sacks of toenails—the list goes on. This dude was a creep. Anyway, it’s starting to really feel like a home. I like that.

I want to talk to the paladin about her tattoos, but I don’t know how to approach the subject. Now there’s someone with a connection to her deity. When she walks into the room it’s like Kord himself walks in with her. Maybe I can learn a few things.


My new friends. I’m so sorry.…

I could have killed them all. But somehow, for some reason, they didn’t toss me aside. Fie was right—I should have told them all well before it happened. But how in the pits of hell do you mention something like that? Calluna protected me from them, and might not calm easily. I will never again meet such loyalty.

Still, I did break their trust, and I deserve whatever comes from that. I saw the look in Jadzia’s eyes when I changed. I only hope she can recognize I agree with her: I think of myself as a monster. Maybe there’s something a blood mage could do to help me… I need to talk to her regardless, let her know I will leave if she wishes it. I’ve never even properly thanked her for welcoming me in to her house, and then this. They have every reason to distrust me.

I’m back in the room they’d given me, trying in vain to get some rest. One thought I can’t let go: Vallus wanted to put me down. And if I’m being honest, I wanted him to. I came so close to asking Calluna to stand down, to move aside and have him put me out of my misery. At least the tiefling can see me for exactly what I am. For what Amaunator has made me. For what I have made myself. Still, I believe Vallus would be willing to do what needed doing, if it came to that. For his clarity…. I might trust Vallus more than anyone I’ve met in a long, long time.