Thoril Songsteal's Journal

Entry #1

The last couple of weeks have been filled with several emotions. To be honest, it’s probably been the worst couple of weeks I can remember.

Our group goes off for what we assumed would be an adventure that would take a week and a half tops. We come back, and 17 years have past. Hell has come to Theria in the form of a man we signed a treaty with back then. Our world has been turned upside down. But, we are doing everything we can to right was has been wronged. Well, most of us are.

As I would have assumed, Talia moved on. Perhaps a bit too quickly. I come back and find out she has a husband, not surprising. It’s Ol’ Stumpy Severus who always hated us. That’s a bit surprising. Even more so, she has a son with him. That of course, I feel is debatable. Nathaniel, in my mind, is my son. I never knew Talia that well, at least emotionally, but the way Nathaniel says she talks about me smells of someone who never quite got over me, and was looking to fill the void with someone else. I’ve never led on with the other guys in the group, but I always found it a bit touching that she’s one of the first people to show me real affection in some time. After leaving my home and becoming an explorer, I didn’t have that for quite some time, and didn’t realize how much I missed it. But, this is all something that I don’t need to worry about right now.

As it turns out, our group is what I need to worry about most. I think what has happened to us has had quite the effect on all of us. Frankly, the actions of some of the members of our group can only be chalked up to the 17-year jump so many times before one has to admit they are simply a problem.

Defending the elves’ tree I feel is where it really started to unravel for us. Sure, we took down a Titan Elite, but at a large cost to both the elves and us. Nathaniel tagged along. In hindsight, I regret nothing when it comes to bringing him along. I could care less what Ian’s opinion is. Nathaniel proved himself in battle, and earned the right to fight along side us. He’s proven to be a bit of a hothead, but I chalk that up to him being young, and being raised by a whipped, one-handed prick. I don’t completely blame him though for being emotional. He was certainly instigated into a fight that was narrowly avoided.

I don’t even feel like getting into what happened outside of Aubrey. That was some other-level crap that I can’t even explain. Simply put, if my group was in trouble, I would help them, no matter what. They’ve been there for me, I will be there for them. Period.

That brings me to the two problems I have with our group. Their names are Drakonis and Ironhide. Now, I’ve always had a “survival of the fittest” attitude, and never liked being the good guy in a situation, but they take it to a whole new level. Death and destruction is something I like to avoid if it’s not necessary. Durnhollow comes to mind. My experience in Durnhollow is the reason why I am writing my thoughts down in the first place.

Simply put, Durnhollow is a shell of its former self because of our group. And it absolutely did not need to be that way. Several things happened while I was busy taking care of business. Hillbilly slavers took not too kindly to Yenward even being in town, and started a fight. I would agree that a threat to us needs to be taken care of long enough for us to leave. What happened was a slaver was brutally murdered after the problem was taken care of, and the biggest source of income in a town was burned to the ground by Drakonis. The actions of members of our group in that town are reprehensible, and completely unnecessary. There was no need to burn a building to the ground. There was no need to crush the skull of a man, who was already incapacitated. There was no need to rob a shop owner of all of her potions.

Rodswell left our group. I don’t blame him. As a priest, I can see how our actions can be enough to drive him away. We’re gearing up for a war with who we feel are the bad guys in Overwatch, and we’re not only barely getting allies to fight along side us, we’re making even more enemies along the way. Who’s really the bad guys here? That’s a question I’ve had to ask myself several times over the last couple of weeks.

The problem I’ve had really is that I left home to avoid situations like this. I’m not the best guy ever, but I have set of morals, and try to stick to them. Those morals have been questioned recently. I mentioned I would do anything for the safety for my group, and I stand by that. The word of the day is betrayal. The situation with Edward outside of Aubrey felt like a betrayal by Ironhide. The burning down of the Honest Harlot, and the robbery of a shopkeeper felt like a betrayal by Ironhide and Drakonis. This is not how we should be going about creating an image of good guys in a war. I wouldn’t be surprised if Durnhollow sided with the Overwatch after what we did. I’ve felt betrayed before by people I thought I knew very well, and it’s the reason I got away from my home. To get away from people who stab others in the back. I’ve been very trusting in my life, and this is exactly why.

Basically, since the 17-year jump, people in our group have proven that they are truly out for themselves. Loyalty is important to me, and at this point, my loyalty with this group lies with Malchus. We may not have the exact same set of morals, and he may have gone super saiyan recently, but he is fighting the good fight. Yenward has his moments, but he too is fighting the good fight. I really hope we can sort out Ironhide and Drakonis, and we can all get on the same page, and focus once again on our task of taking down the Overwatch. We owe that to Winter Haven. We owe that to Bri. We owe that to everybody who looks at us as the bad guys to prove just where we stand. We owe that to Rodswell, because now we have to govern ourselves in morals.

Frankly, I just can’t wait for this to be over. I want to get our allies, get back to the White Ravens, and finish this. Carter betrayed our trust, and for that he will die at our hands. We put him in his position of power, and I’ll be more than happy to take him out of it. I’ve rambled enough. Emotions have been high, and my mind is everywhere. I’m getting some rest. We have more potential allies to make tomorrow.

-Thoril Songsteal